(00:03):
Welcome back to behind the space bar. This is episode six, how to network without being that guy. Hey everybody, this is will Doggett. Thanks so much for joining me for behind the space bar today. We are gonna talk about everyone's favorite subject and topic networking. And I wanna talk about it specifically about how to network without being that guy. We're gonna talk about three BS today. Um, so I think today's episode is gonna be super important, particularly if you're newer in your music career, newer in your career, whatever field that is. Um, and no matter where you're working, whether it's a church on staff as a worship leader, music director, whether you're out on the road as a music director or musician playing with an artist, or maybe you're a, uh, someone doing production or tech out on the road, no matter what it is, this is a super important topic.

(00:46):
I, I think a lot of times when we think about networking, again, we, we think of networking as a four letter word, right? And we always think of networking. We all know that guy. And, uh, and we all know that guy that you show up to a party, you show up to an event and there's that one person that's walking around on passing out business cards and you're going, are business cards, even a thing anymore. Um, if you've ever been to Nam and you're watching this, you know, that feeling of being, uh, walking around Nam or walking up to a booth, uh, in particular and walking up to a booth and, uh, wanting to learn about a new synthesizer, a new piece of gear. And as you walk up to the booth, a person is doing this, and all they're doing is staring at your name tag to go, is this person of any worth or value to me?

(01:25):
Uh, and if they're not, I'm gonna really quickly try to move them along. And if they are, or I recognize their name tag, um, then I'm gonna pay them a lot attention. In fact, one of the most important and needed times I've, uh, uh, ever, ever felt needed or important in my life was, uh, when we were recording, uh, some NA videos for Sweetwater. And so on my tag, it said will dog. It, uh, I forgot what the role was, but it said Sweetwater. And so you'd walk up to a booth. And at first people are like, who's this young punk, this young punk kid. And then they see the name tag and see Sweetwater. And suddenly they're, they're here to serve whatever they can do to help, but we all know that feeling. And I think sometimes because we've all known the guy that we feel like they're always trying to just get to, to the next thing.

(02:03):
They're always trying to meet the next person. Um, uh, they're passing out their business cards again, if, if, if we even need business cards anymore, but they're, we've all interacted with that person. We've felt that towards us, we felt when people were trying to use us just for our connections and for the people we, we know and the things we can do, we felt that, um, maybe sometimes we've tried to network and, and feeling and, and, and networking. We felt icky and we felt like that guy. And so I think a lot of times the tendency is, well, I'm just not gonna do it. If it happens, it happens. So be it right. And I don't think that's the right choice. I don't think just because we've seen people do it badly means we should not do it ourselves because I've seen what's happened to me when I, uh, get around the right people.

(02:48):
I've seen what happens to me when I get in environments and, um, doors open for me because I met this person or because I helped this person, then this thing happened, which this thing happened. So networking is a good thing. Networking is an important thing. The, the, the jobs we're gonna get, the opportunities we're gonna get, um, are not because of our skill. Now that's part of it, but it's gonna be because the people we know, and I think the reason we feel such a resistance to networking is we've seen it done bad. And we've seen it used as a tool where people look straight through you straight through your soul, and all they see is your badge at NA and see exactly where that person works or what band they're with, or what artists, or how big their social media following is. We've all had that done to us.

(03:27):
We've seen it done. And so we think networking isn't unimportant, but networking is important. The only things we have, the, the opportunities we're gonna get in life are only gonna happen, um, because of the people we know. So I think networking is super important, but is it possible? Is there a way for us to network to get opportunities without being that guy? And again, I, I think I've defined who being that guy is. We've all experienced it. So I think there is I, I wanna share, and there's probably way, way more ways than what I'm gonna share. I'm gonna share three particular. And I said, I'm gonna, we're gonna talk about the three bees. Um, and this is my, uh, my church, uh, upbringing coming out in me. I've gotta try to start everything and do some alliteration. So that's what we're doing here. I've got three bees for you today, but I would love to know, leave a comment below, um, whether you're watching on YouTube, if you're listening on apple podcast, then shoot me an email, whatever, shoot me a text.

(04:16):
If you have my number, I would love to know, um, what things have helped to you learned how to network without being that guy. So I wanna share the three, I thought of that. Um, I've experienced in my own life. And then, um, again, let me know what you think. So, number one, the first be, be present where you are. I think, um, and I was tempted when I started working on the outline for this and thinking about it is I was tempted to say like, uh, you never know what the opportunity you're doing could eventually lead to. And a lot of times I think that's our rationale and our reasoning for why we should network a lot. I think a lot of times, that's the reason why we think, oh, I should go to this event or go to this party because I never know what will come out of this party.

(04:57):
The person I might meet might lead to this might lead to that. I think all those things are true. And I think that's a valid thing, but I don't think that should be our intent. I think we should be present wherever we are, which means if we go to a party we're not thinking about, I need to meet that person because that person could then introduce me to this person that could introduce me to that person. I'm gonna be at this party and I'm gonna meet this saying, and I'm gonna be like, look them in the eyes. I'm gonna learn their name. And I'm gonna focus on them in that moment. I'm not gonna focus on what they can do for me. I'm not gonna focus on, um, going and doing this show and what that could potentially lead to I'm at this show. So I'm gonna be at this show, I'm talking to this person.

(05:37):
So I'm gonna talk to this person now that maybe sounds new ag or sounds like over simplistic, but I think it, it's true a book I'm gonna throw out and I'm throwing out four, three books, uh, this week, 4,000 weeks, time management for mortals. This is a really great book, particularly if you're like fed up with time management or if you have any interest in time management. Um, but you're kind of like, it all just seems like BS to me, or maybe you're going, I've tried to do time management stuff, and I've just, I'm a hot mess. I'm a soup sandwich. I can't get it together. Uh, this book by Oliver Berkman is, is really, really good. Um, and one of the things Oliver talks about in it is just the idea of us doing something, uh, uh, for something else. But he talks about just being in the moment and not going on vacation so that we can learn something to then be better at our jobs, but just to go on vacation, right.

(06:23):
Or to, as we're doing a, a skill or a hobby, just doing that skill or hobby just for the sake of doing it. So I thought about that when, when, um, I, when I was working on this outline, I thought about that book because it was a really good, impactful book to remind me of just idea of just be present where you are, and that's something we hear and it's kind of a buzzwordy thing or whatever, be present. It's very, very possible that the, the person you're talking to could introduce you to someone else that could lead to an opportunity. It's very possible that the opportunity that you're doing, um, um, could lead to another opportunity. But the only way that opportunity is gonna open up, the only way that person you're talking to is gonna introduce you to that next person is if they feel like you're, you actually care about them.

(07:03):
And if they feel like you're actually present, you're not, this gig is not gonna lead to a better and greater gig. If you don't do this gig well, and you can only do this gig, well, if you're present in this gig, if you think about it as if this is the last gig I'm ever gonna do, I'm gonna give up my all, I'm gonna do good work. Um, and you're gonna do your best at that thing. Then that's gonna then potentially lead you to another thing. But if you're only focused on how this thing can serve, and as a stepping stones geek to the next thing, then I think you're gonna miss the joy of that particular thing. You're gonna miss the joy, the destina of the journey, trying to get to the destination, right? Hopefully that makes sense to you. Uh, I think of my, uh, my buddy Tyler, who just recently, um, got hired to do a gig, uh, here in Austin and whi did that gig and it was an okay gig.

(07:46):
But as a part of that gig, he got connected to someone else that was, that was working the gig. The next day, they started chatting on the phone. This person said, oh, I'm really involved in the playback, uh, world environment. And then I think a couple weeks later called Tyler back and said, Hey, I need someone to go out on the road with this artist, uh, for a couple weeks. Are you down? And Tyler said, yeah, that's great. Tyler was able to get that. Not because he walked in and said, this gig may lead to something else and he didn't get it because he walked in and this gig and said, ah, this is like a, you know, on a scale from one to 10, this is like a four, but it pays it's better than nothing. He went in and said, I'm gonna do my best at this thing.

(08:20):
And I'm gonna treat this thing as if it's the only thing I've got. And because of that, someone was able to look on and see his work ethic, how he works, the great job he did and said, Hey, he did a really good job with this. What if we gave him another opportunity to do that? So number one, be present where you are, that's our first be, be present where you are. Um, that thing you may, uh, wanna do that person you're talking to may interview you, lead you to something else, that job, um, that, that particular thing may lead you to something else. But only if you do the current thing, you're on really well. Number two, our second be, be present where the people you want to be are okay. That's I, that, that, let me say that again, cuz that's a hard one to, as I was typing it, I to type it a few times, but I, I think it says what I wanted to say.

(08:59):
Number two, be present where the people you want to be are okay. Be present where the people you want to be are. Here's what I mean. Um, uh, I have a buddy who became a playback tech and one of the reasons he became a playback tech is he just started hanging out at rehearsal spaces. He started going to where the people that he wanted to be, he wanted to be a playback tech, where were they? They were at rehearsal spaces rehearsing. So he would just go hang out. Uh, he had some friends that were in a band. He would go hang out and they would need help carrying keyboard cases. They needed help, um, hauling gear around. And so he would help haul gear around. And when it came time for people to need someone to do a similar job, guess who they thought of, they thought of my buddy, um, be present where the people you want to be are essentially just means, think about the type of people, the, the field you want to be in, where are they and go to those places.

(09:50):
Um, maybe you can't physically go, uh, but hang out where those people are on. So social media, another thing, um, I always think of is, uh, just this concept of doing work that they notice, right? Um, one of my goals with creating a, a piece of content every single day in 2022 is that if you Google almost anything about able to live, you'll find some piece of my content on that page. Um, and that's just a good business principle. You could say, that's it key? You could say, well, will you're being that guy will, you're concerned with people's perception of you will whatever. But the goal is I'm trying to be where people are, right? I'm trying to be to where, when you search for Ableton info, you find will. And you're like, well, Will's the Ableton guy. That's gonna help me figure this out.

(10:33):
Uh, be present where the people you want to be are, again, that may be a physical location. Uh, it may be a music club. And so you go and hang out, uh, and it's probably gonna be, and you're not gonna want to hear this, but most likely it's gonna be a situation where you need to go volunteer. You need to just hang out. You need to just serve, just be near those people. Um, so that you can learn about that field so that people start, oh, he gets it. Oh, she gets it. Like they've been around this world. They understand what we're talking about. Uh, and we say this thing, this is what we mean. That sort of thing. A book, uh, suggestion I have here is the proximity principle by Ken Coleman, um, the sub, uh, sub for this appro strategy that will lead to the career.

(11:13):
You love. He's, he's very much talking about this from a career perspective, how to get, get a job that you want. Uh, and he's basically saying, as opposed to just putting in applications at places where, you know, anyone start to get to know the people be around the people that you want to be. And again, I think from a location standpoint that is go to where those people are, a music club, a rehearsal space, whatever, um, you start doing what those people do. Uh, but the other thing is just create work, create content that those, that people would notice. But I think it's all gonna be tied to serving. It's gotta all be tied to that concept of you're doing it, not to get to the next thing, but going back to the first B, you're just being present where you are, you're there with those people, but you're just present in that moment and serving them and seeing how you can help.

(11:53):
And if they need more coffee, go get 'em more coffee, whatever it is all with the goal of just being present with them, serving them and being present where they are, cuz that's the type of person you want to be. Okay. Our third be be the type of person that you'd want to be around. Okay. That one's maybe too simplistic, that that's easy to just kind of go right past you, but be the type of person that you'd want to be around the way to network without being that guy is to not be that guy. And the way to not be that guy is to be the type of person and network in the type of way that you would want to be networked too. It's it's the, the, the golden rule of networking network, the way you would want to be networked to. Right.

(12:31):
Um, be the type of person that, that you would want to be around and hang with the book that came up, came to mind for me. And some of you're gonna roll your eyes when I mention this. But bear with me is how to win friends and influence people by Dell Carnegie. Um, I think, I think this book is poorly titled because it gives you a sense of how to win friends and influence people gives you this kind of like ickiness because you're like you're winning, you're winning friends as opposed to just being friends. And you're influencing people without always like, if anyone, uh, ever says, oh, this person's an influencer. There's always, to me kind of a tinge of like, Ugh, like that just feels a little icky to me. So don't be turned off by the title of this book. This was a monumental book for me in reading it.

(13:11):
One of the things I pulled out of it was this idea of, I would feel a desire to correct people if they got something wrong. Um, or if they said something wrong and it's not about like letting mistruth or misinformation get out there, but just this idea of like respecting people in the moment, you could even Google this book. If you don't wanna read the book, you could Google it and find Wikipedia. Uh, when I land on this page, I found a Wikipedia article that basically lays out the, I think it's 10 rules has for how to win friends and influence people or at least shares a few of them. But I think this is a really good book. Um, that's gonna help you along that journey. A couple things I put serve. Number one, just the idea of like the way that, uh, I wanna work with people that are not going to want to work with me just because I may be able to give them this next to me, you can always kind of sense that.

(13:57):
And again, going back to the beginning, you we've all been around that guy and the guy that's talking to you just because he thinks you can get him to the next person. Um, we know that feeling, so don't do that, right? Just serve, uh, whatever you can do. Carry keys cases, carry, help, set up gear, help, tear down gear, get coffee, whatever it is just serve. Right. I think that's just like an entry, basic level thing. And I don't care. We use the word serve a lot, like in the church orders, we're talking about stuff. It's not a church word it's like serve is in any field, right? Uh, if I'm in a band with a lot of folks, um, I want folks that are gonna serve me and are going to help serve the greater purpose. Um, and that only works if we are all looking at it as putting someone else's needs before ours and serving them.

(14:40):
I, I thought about this though, particularly in a band world. Um, and I don't travel and I don't play in a band now, but I remember my days, uh, being in a band and being in, in multiple bands, the people that stuck around were the people that were a good hang. And by that, I mean, the people that you gotta think about when you're in a band or you're on the road with people, 95% of the time, you're not doing the thing you're hired to do. If you're hired to be a guitar player on the road, 95% of your time, you're not gonna be playing guitar on the road 5% of the time. Maybe if you're lucky, you'll be on stage, age, playing guitar, you'll be on stage soundcheck and you'll be on stage rehearsing. You'll be in a rehearsal studio rehearsing, but 95% of the time you're gonna be off stage.

(15:18):
You're gonna be talking about stuff. You're gonna be eating food with people. You're gonna be hanging out on a bus. Cramed in a van, sleeping in a hotel room with someone else. And think about that. Like, how can you carry on conversation? What's your personality? Like, are you an abrasive person? Are you someone that corrects everyone? Are you someone that brings up politics every moment of every day to just to discuss then you're probably not gonna stick around for a long time, unless I guess you find other people that have similar political views to you, and that's all you talk about all day long then maybe so, but you've gotta think about the fact that 95% of the time, you're not gonna be doing the thing you're hired to do so. Um, you've gotta be the type of person that you want to be around.

(15:55):
Second thing, put others first. We talked about that. Just that idea of, um, uh, put the success of other people in front of you. And I know that's easy for me to say in Austin, Texas, not being in LA and not being at a party where again, everyone looks at you and tries to, uh, see what you can do for them. But I think you be the odd person out. You could be the person that tries to put others first and serves the needs of an artist. Uh, first, as opposed to saying, I'm just gonna do this gig so I can then get to that next gig. The other thing, and we've kind of, I've mentioned this throughout a few different, um, uh, ways is just the idea of do good work. This is a concept, my wife and I are trying to teach our kids now.

(16:32):
And, um, it's kind of a mystical kind of undefined thing, but you know what it is when you do it. And you know, when you're not doing good work, when you don't do it, you know what I mean? Like you, the idea of you get hired for a gig. And, um, your lack of preparation for that gig is, or, or your level of preparation is not what you want it to be. So because of that, you can look at that game and go, yeah, I didn't do good work on that one. That's, that's a gig where, um, I should have done a lot better and I just did not do good work. I did not put others first. I did not serve very well. That's definitely not a do good work kind of situation. So, um, I think when it comes to networking and, and being able to network without being that guy, being able to, without feeling icky, I think there's three bees that we can apply that are really gonna help.

(17:17):
Number one, be present where you are, number two, be present where the people you want to be are, and then three be the type of person that you want to be around. And I think, honestly, I think if you could do those things, uh, then I think you're gonna be able to network, uh, without being that guy. And it's super important for us to network cause the only we're gonna get our next job, our next opportunity is because of the people we know. And the only way we're gonna get opportunities is because people we know provide those opportunities for us, no matter how talented we are, no matter how great we are at what we're doing, the, the opportunities we have only come from the people we know. So, um, take and apply these three things. I hope they help. Um, let me know in the comments, uh, shoot me a message.

(17:57):
I would love to know how do you practically network without being icky without being that guy? Um, let the rest of us know so that we can be better at networking and we can network without being that guy and find, um, if you are interested in being a playback tech, being a music director, musician that uses Ableton live on stage, um, head to from studio to stage.com/free, I've got a bunch of free resources that are gonna help you, uh, make that happen. And if, while you're there and you decide you wanna subscribe, um, become part of the community, we would love to have you, but even if you don't, then we've got a bunch of free resources there for you that, um, as you're learning how to use able to live and use it on stage, I think will be super beneficial for you. So thanks so much for joining me Ford behind the space bar. We'll see you next week, 10:00 AM central. Uh, whether you're watching or listening to this, give us a thumbs up a like of whatever you do wherever you are. Uh, and that would mean a lot. Leave review if you're over on apple, iTunes and podcasts. Thanks so much. Everybody take care. See you next Monday. 10:00 AM.